I Will Die For You
“At this, Peter said, ‘Though all lose faith in you, I will never lose faith in you …even if I have to die with you.’” (Matthew 26:33-35)
I had been reflecting on the strength of Peter’s faith, his love for our Lord, and our Lord’s immense love for Peter, when I found myself spontaneously praying, “Lord, I will die for You.” Immediately, this question was planted in my mind: “Then why are you afraid to live for Me?”
I hadn’t intentionally formed that prayer, it just came out. Maybe it was just a cliché bouncing around in my head, or maybe it was formed by the Holy Spirit, to nudge me into a deeper reality. The end result was a sense of self exposure -of realizing I was saying the right words, but not yet living them out. So I prayed with intention, “Lord, show me how I can live for You today.” The prayer sounded good, but in the realm of my spirit, there was a sense of lacking. As if God was replaying it for me, with video, and I could see I had my fingers in my ears, and my eyes were shut tight -as one unready to embrace the path that God was marking out.
I clearly possess the power to misrepresent the real me to myself. I cannot say that I truly know myself. Only God knows the depths of my heart, my fears, my lies, my inauthentic faces. Oh, that He loves me more than I love myself, that He believes in me, that I may yet become the son He has created me to be.
I so relate to Peter, who had such great intentions, and made such grandiose promises to our Lord. Like a child who outruns his own feet and falls, Peter’s love for Jesus spurred him to make promises for which, when life’s events unfolded, he lacked the inner character to keep.
