Falling Into Love

Falling Into Love

The apostles said to the Lord, 'Increase our faith'.  The Lord replied, 'Were your faith the size of a mustard seed you could say to this mulberry tree, "Be uprooted and planted in the sea", and it would obey you. (Luke 17:5-6)

         A baby begins moving out into the world, first, by learning to reach out with its hands.  It extends this limited reach when it discovers how to roll over toward what it wants.  Then it learns to wiggle about, like a worm, inching its way forward.  Its ‘invade-able world’ greatly expands when it masters crawling on all fours.  Upon learning to stand on its two legs, it soon masters the side step –sliding one foot, then the other, all while holding on to available furniture and walls.

         Up to this point, the baby is always stable, able to freeze its motion at any instant, and not fall.  But then something transformative happens, it takes its first step -it learns how to fall forward and catch itself with one foot.  This of course is the preamble to the great amble –walking, whereupon taking a step forward, the baby uses its momentum to fall forward again, then catch itself again, and then again, and again –now loosed from the bonds of furniture and walls, from the tedious pace of crawling, it can explore and conquer vast reaches of space in a short amount of time.

         What is fascinating about the act of walking is that we use the ever present force of gravity to propel ourselves forward.  With each step, we willfully allow ourselves to fall into gravity’s grip –as we allow our body to fall, we catch ourselves with our foot, and gravity’s downward  pull is transferred into forward momentum, where we fall again and catch ourselves with the other foot.  The complexity of the physics involved makes learning to walk difficult and replete with accidents.

         So what does all this have to do with the Apostles asking Jesus to increase their faith?  They must have been befuddled by his response.  They were wanting to be like him –to do the things he did.  They witnessed his miracles.  They observed how he connected this power with faith.  They knew that faith had something to do with believing.  They believed in him yet they could not do the things he did.  Jesus said if the size of their faith were minuscule, a tree would obey their command and cast itself into the sea.  

         Surely, they must have been disheartened.  After hearing this, they must have thought they had no faith at all.  Maybe, if instead of asking for their faith to be increased, they had asked Jesus, ‘Do we possess the power of faith, even a little?’ he may have said, ‘No, not at all.’  For maybe, learning to walk in faith is like learning to walk in gravity.  Maybe, we do not possess faith but rather faith possesses us.  Maybe, when walking in faith, we fall into its power and are propelled forward toward great acts of love.

         If this is the Kingdom’s framework for faith, then indeed, the size of our faith is not the issue, because it is not our mortal power, but God’s Almighty Power that propels us to unthinkable acts of Love.  Maybe in surrendering into Faith we are falling into the Power of Love.  This is a difficult thing for a soul to learn, and it is fraught with mistakes and disappointments, but the Kingdom of God is waiting to be conquered.

Lord, grant me the courage, the Faith, to fall into your Love, to abandon myself into a Love I am incapable of giving -knowing that the Power of your Holy Spirit is waiting to catch me, to propel my feeble acts of faith into a life befitting my God.  Jesus, I am weak but you are strong.  I Believe in your Promise to empower me: to equip me; to walk in Faith; to be your Ambassador of Love.

          Jesus, you commissioned me (John 15:16) to bear the fruit of your Love.  I did not choose you, you first chose me.  This is your plan Lord, not of my making.  I cannot imagine the Good that you Will to accomplish, but I can be obedient to your Word.  So here I am Lord, just like your Apostles, asking you for something beyond my understanding.  In the words of our Mother, whom you have shared with me, ‘…may it be done unto me according to your Will.’  Again, and again, and again may I fall into your Love –until you find me home.

See And Believe

“You can see and still you do not believe.” (Jn 6:36) …“Whoever sees the son and believes in him shall have the eternal life.” (Jn 6:40)   In this sixth chapter of the Gospel of John the Bread of Life is revealed, and these two verses challenge us to a Eucharistic Faith.

Jesus Christ, the ‘Un-Knowable I-Am’, has become the Word-Made-Flesh.  The Bread-Sent-From-Heaven has made himself known to us.  Because of sin, we have eyes but do not see; ears but do not hear; thirst but do not drink; and hunger but do not eat.  

To See and Believe, this is Christ’s call.  To “See” Jesus is to hear his Word; to encounter his Love; to taste the Bread of Life.  To “Believe” in Jesus is to choose to follow Him –to live in his Truth.

Jesus made himself known to Israel through many acts of love: signs and wonders; the gift of his Flesh and Blood; and his Crucifixion.  Yet most did not See or Believe.  He continues still to make himself known -to all who have eyes to See and ears to Hear; who Hunger for the Bread of Life and Thirst for the Living Water; who are willing to Drink of the Cup of His Blood.

Before we can choose Jesus, before we can exercise Faith, we must first encounter him as Truth.  As it is God’s Will that all Man be saved –that all come to Know and Love him (Jn6:39)- we have to assume that he must Reveal himself to every soul, for he is as Just as he is Loving.  However, it would be a sin of presumption to assume that this revelation will happen outside of our participation.

Free-will cannot exist without personal responsibility –we must have a Choice, and we must have the freedom to Accept or Reject it.  Neither can Faith exist without Works, nor Love without Deeds.  And so it is that Truth is only found with Hunger and Thirst.  It is for us to Ask, Seek and Knock (Mt 7:7), for “The nearer you go to God, the nearer he will come to you.” (James 4:8).  We cannot expect to See God if we are not looking for him.  But if we do so with all our heart, he promises to show himself to us (Deut 4:29).

That the Un-Knowable God will make himself Known is Truth.  It is the Word of God, witnessed and testified to throughout the ages.  He is ever waiting for us to See and Believe –through Prayer, through his Word, and in the Eucharist- waiting to be encountered, waiting to be loved.   

God is waiting, but it is an active waiting.  As Father of all Prodigal Sons, he is not just waiting for us to discover our true Sonship, but he is eternally sending forth his Spirit to woo us -as he unleashes the Hound of Heaven, to plant in our heart, pangs of hunger for Home; as he sends the Good Shepherd to seek out his Lost Love.

If we but call out to him, he will find us in our darkness.  In truth, he is already present -just waiting for us to recognize our need for him.  For it is only in our Need that we recognize his Face.  It is only in our Hunger and Thirst that we have cause to Believe in who can assuage.  In a cosmic act of Mercy, God has allowed himself to suffer need –to have to wait for us to choose his Burning Love.  

Most of us, before giving ourselves over to a life of Faith, must first discover our miserable-ness, our desperate need, our depravity of Love.  It is this Humble Knowing which loosens the scales of sin from our eyes and allows us to “See” our Lord.  In standing exposed before him, seeing that our Nakedness does not cause his Love to flinch, we are freed to love him whose Love has found us -we see and believe.  

          When we see Jesus as Love, then we believe in the Source Of All Love, and this Knowing Encounter impels us to Praise our God of Love.  Such is our Eucharistic Faith.  Eucharist means Thanksgiving or Gratitude.  So it is that in receiving the Love of Jesus, we find the Bread of Life –we consume him in order to be consumed by him; we embrace him to become Lost in his Mercy, where we find the courage to die for Eternal Life.

The Door

The Door

         What’s up with The Door?  Two Gospels make reference to The Door which locks us out of God’s Presence.  Matthew 25:10 refers to the Foolish Bridesmaids caught unprepared by the Bridegroom’s arrival.  They begged to be let in, but the The Door to the banquet hall was already locked, and the Bridegroom said to them, “I do not know you.”  Luke 13:25 refers to the Master, who after a long day’s work, got up from supper, and locked The Door to go to bed.  To the stragglers who begged, ‘Lord, open to us’, the Master said, “I do not know where you come from.”  In both Gospels, those locked out are condemned as Strangers to God.

         Lest we portray Jesus as mercilessly cruel, there is a third reference to The Door –one with a profound nuance.  In Revelations 3:20, John also references The Door which separates the Unrepentant Sinner from Jesus, but this time, it is Jesus who is begging to be allowed to come in: “Behold, I am standing at the door, knocking. If one of you hears me calling and opens the door, I will come in to share his meal, side by side with him.”  

         In all three cases The Door separates us from Jesus.  In Matthew and Luke, The Door keeps us from Jesus, yet in Revelations, The Door keeps Jesus from us.  In Matthew and Luke, the Sinner does not control the lock.  Yet, in John, the Sinner controls the lock.  So, what is The Door and how does its lock work?

         Clearly, The Door is the consequence of personal sin, for sin separates us from God.  Sin renounces the Reign of God over our life as it exalts the Reign of Self over God.  Sin is the bottom line of where we stand in relationship to God.  We are cast as Strangers, not because Jesus does not know our name, or where we were born, but because our selfish life is foreign to him –he knows only the Will of the Father.  He cannot relate to disobedience, nor can the Disobedient relate to him.

         If The Door is the consequence of sin, then the lock speaks to the ‘eternal-ness’ of that consequence.  Matthew and Luke plainly describe, that once The Door is shut, it cannot be opened –yet, John clearly has Jesus hoping it will open again.  Why the difference?  The difference is not so much ‘why’ as ‘when’ -for the ‘when’ makes all the difference in the world.

         In Matthew and Luke, The Door is locked at the coming of Night.  Scripture tells us we have but one life to live, and then we are judged.  Like the Bridesmaids, ‘we do not know either the day or the hour’ of that All Important Moment -when our ultimate destiny becomes Eternally Chosen.

         And lest we portray this Sober Truth as mercilessly cruel, John, the Disciple Whom Jesus Loved, leaves us with the Hope of Mercy –with the Sacred Heart of Jesus knocking at The Door of our heart, begging that we trust him to become Lord in our life.  While we yet breathe, we are in the Season of Mercy –repenting of our selfish ways immediately opens The Door to the Bridegroom who so Desires our heart.

Caught In The Act Of Life

Caught In The Act Of Life

         Sooner or later, every child gets caught with their fingers in the cookie jar.  This pivotal moment is unpleasant for both child and parent.  The wise and just parent, who rewards good behavior, must now discipline their beloved child; and the child, must receive, and hopefully learn, the consequence of disobedience.

From the parent’s perspective, something painful but very wonderful, has happened.  Their child is one step closer to acquiring a righteous character.  The child, of course, cannot perceive the parent’s Good in this moment –he only can see what he desires.  Growing up is hard to do.  Raising a child is incomparably harder.  This is not surprising, as parenting is the task of God.

         This snapshot of Life, from God’s perspective, can unfold in only two ways: the child will choose to live for God, or, for Self.  The Man-Child will become Righteous, as in the image of his God; or Lost, as in his own self-created image.  The Man-Child has but one Life to be Judged, and the code of judgment will not be of the Man-Child’s Arrogance, but of God’s Truth –for the reward of a Righteous Life is Eternal Light, and the Consequence of living for Self is Eternal Darkness.

         This is what Jesus’ parable of the fishnet (MT 13:47) is about.  All the fish in the Net of Judgment were caught in the act –in Act of Life.  The Just, or Righteous, were gathered and saved. Those who were not of God, the Wicked, were thrown away.  Jesus concludes, “This is how it will be at the end of time: the angels will appear and separate the wicked from the just to throw them into the blazing furnace were there will be weeping and grinding of teeth.”  This is a sobering Truth that the world, and even many in our Church, either deny, or refuse to talk about.

         It is a painful Truth to ponder.  It causes us to wonder how the Just are deemed Righteous and saved; and how the Wicked are judged as Lost and thrown into the fire.  For, all of us have been caught -many times- with our fingers in the cookie jar, and as many times, we promised not to do it again.  We do not know how we are judged -Righteous or Wicked, but we do know what is righteous or wicked.  

         The Holy Spirit has given our Church the wisdom to connect Jesus’ parable of the fishnet with Jeremiah’s story of the potter’s wheel (JER 18:1).  Jeremiah watches the Potter form the clay on the spinning wheel.  When the clump of clay gets out of control, when it takes a form that is not congruent with the Potter’s Dream, the clump gets smacked down, and the Potter starts anew.  God then speaks to Jeremiah, “Yes, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in mine, House of Israel.”

         God, the Good Parent, disciplines the child he loves.  As long as we live, as long as the Wheel of Life still spins, God will give us another chance to be formed into His Image.  When we sin, when we choose to live according to Our Desires -in opposition to his Dream for us- we become disfigured, and in our sin, the Potter’s Hand of Mercy smacks us down.  We are, of course, usually blind to the Good in that Moment of Mercy, but something wonderful has just taken place.  We have been given another chance to become a Faithful Vessel of God’s Love –to live according to his Perfect Plan for us.

         We are given two stories of Truth: the parable in Matthew, of God’s Judgment; and the story in Jeremiah, of God’s Mercy –how do they co-exist?  Is the Clump of Clay eternally destined according to its form in that moment when the Wheel of Life stops?  Do I commit a sin of presumption –by banking on God’s Mercy?  If I say, ‘I am sorry’ knowing I will probably do it again, am I really sorry, can I expect Forgiveness?  I do not know the answers to these questions.  But, I do know what is expected of me, and, that in the end, the path I choose in this Life will lead to my Eternal Judgment.

         Lord, I want to be Faithful.  I want to live for you –in Truth and Love.  Do not let me wander from you.  Do whatever it takes.  I am hopelessly distracted by anxieties and selfish desires, and I can deceive myself for a whim.  Who I am, and who I want to be, are blurred by sin.  Holy Spirit, give me Eyes clarified by Truth, set them like flint, on my Lord Jesus.  Father, I acknowledge your Mercy as I confess my lowliness.  Jesus, by the Blood of your Cross, my Sins have been swallowed –consumed and forgotten.  I will follow you, by the Light of your Holy Spirit, into the Bosom of our Father.  This is my prayer.  Lord, you are my Hope.

The Rich Man And Lazarus

The Rich Man And Lazarus (Luke 16:19)

         Jesus had just given a teaching on the right use of money.  The Pharisees, seething from their exposed hypocrisy, mocked him.  Unable to refute truth, they ridiculed him instead.  Jesus responded with a parable.  St. Luke titled it The Rich Man and Lazarus, but it could just as well have been called The Man Who Would Not Listen to the Voice of God.

          The rich man, who lived a self-centered life, did not earn a name in this story.  In contrast, the poor man -a hungry beggar covered with sores- was knighted “Lazarus”, which means “God is my help”.  His hope had to be in God, for the rich man did not lift a finger to raise him up.  Lazarus’ only solace was the dogs that licked his wounds.  Though he trusted in the God of heaven, he found only misery on earth.  While the rich man, with less love than the dogs, and with no trust in God, was steeped in comfort.

         Indeed, this parable seems to hide the merciful hand of God, while revealing the Sovereignty of his Justice to an unfair world.  It is a story about Eternal Recompense, about the impassable chasm between two destinies waiting to be chosen.

Lazarus’ life was the story of Job minus the happy ending.  Yet, he never stopped hoping in God.  The rich man was flooded with God’s blessings to the end, yet he never turned to their Source.  Lazarus, who clung in faith to his God, found himself in the Bosom of Abraham, the father of his faith –he was found pleasing to God.  The rich man, who sought only to please himself; found himself in the unending torment of eternal poverty -divorced from the Love of God he had spurned.

         Jesus ends his parable with the rich man becoming the beggar: pleading for Lazarus to be sent to warn his five brothers, that they might repent of their selfish ways and avoid the torment of hell.   “Then Abraham said to him, "If they will not listen either to Moses or to the prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone should rise from the dead".

Moses and the prophets are the Voice of God, beckoning from millennia.  If the pursuit of self, so blinds us to God’s Voice, then neither would the miracle of one rising from the dead pierce our darkness.  Our sin, freely chosen, can do what Satan cannot: deny the power of the Cross and Resurrection.

         Not only was the Voice of God’s Word calling the rich man to a life of Love, but God was shouting to him -in the Poverty of Lazarus camped at his door.  The hardened heart can only be unlocked from within.  And the proud, find the key of Repentance, too reviling to pick up.  Pride will choose torment before submission to God.  It will cover its ears, lest it hear the Truth and change.

         This parable, this fiction of Christ, is both truth as well, foretelling a Darkness Yet Born: when the same Pharisees, would later, plot Jesus’ death after witnessing him raise a man from the dead.  The Lazarus of his parable, was the namesake of his beloved friend -the Lazarus he was to call forth from the tomb. This Lazarus fulfilled the wish of the rich man pleading for a resurrection miracle to prove God’s Word to be true.  And true to the Word of Jesus, it did not open their eyes. What pain our Savior must have endured; as he watched the Pharisees blindly cement their own tomb with bitterness, a torment of their own making.

         My Lord Jesus, I pray you will rip from my heart all selfishness and pride.  Its power is so fearsome that I hide it from my sight.  Like a child refusing to look under the bed at night, I am afraid to shine light on my darkness within.  Only you God are my help.

         Lord, do not let me pass by the Lazarus’s you place at my door.  Let me not pretend to not see or hear them.  Let me not turn away my eyes, nor close my heart.  Let me not fail the test.  Lay bare my heart.  Give me the courage to embrace your forsaken -even Lord, if I must let loose of my comfort, if I need to be made humble.

         Holy Spirit, by your grace, make it so.  Bring me into the Bosom of my Father.  Make me into the likeness of his Son.  Give me a listening heart that is drawn to your Poor.  Give me eyes to recognize your Beauty in their face.  Give me ears to hear your Call to Love.

         Father, oh that I might be known in Eternity by a new name: “The Lowly One who Listened to Voice of God”.

Today Becomes Tomorrow

Today Becomes Tomorrow

“My dear people, we are already the children of God but what we are to be in the future has not yet been revealed; all we know is that when it is revealed we shall be like him because we shall see him as he really is.” 1John 3:2

 

Today is both the present and a present.  Today is the present Now –the Breathing In of God’s Spirit, and the Breathing Out of my life lived.  It is a Sacred piece of time: the only place where I can change; where Becoming takes place; where my past is expressed; where my future is chosen; and where my true self is brought to life.  

          And so it is that today, also is a present –a Gift Exchange.  It is God’s Gift of life to me, and, it is the Gift of my life to God ….which makes me exalt,  ”Look Master, You gave me five talents and I made them into ten!”

          Today is a piece of time, a length of thread, which I weave into the Tapestry of my life.  Just as I do not choose the Gifts given me, I do not choose the color or texture of today’s thread, but every thought and action of mine, weaves that thread into the Tapestry of my life –Pure Gift, unearned and freely given.

The Hope I have in Christ, is that my Tapestry will itself become a thread …that, joined with all the Tapestries of all the Saints, will reflect the very image of its Source, and this Intertwined Unity of all the Love that is, will become one with God …individual still… yet consumed in the Oneness Of Love into an Eternal Tomorrow .