Put Out Into The Deep

Put Out Into The Deep

“When he had finished speaking he said to Simon, 'Put out into deep water and pay out your nets for a catch'.” (Luke 5:4)

         When I read these words a few weeks ago, they flashed on the page as if they were holding a vast wealth of untapped Truth.  I reflected on them but no particular insight came forth.  The context is a familiar story.  Peter, a professional fisherman, had worked hard all night long and caught nothing, then, just as he finishes cleaning his net, Jesus comes along and tells him to put out into the deep.  The day is now hot, Peter is exhausted, and it is an illogical thing to do, but he concedes to the Master’s advice, only to snag a catch of fish that threatens to tear his net.  He calls out to James and John for help, and the two of their boats are filled to the point of sinking, causing Peter to fall to his knees and cry out, 'Leave me, Lord; I am a sinful man'.  Today, as I ponder the events of hurricane Irma that has ravaged our state, those flashing words have begun to take on new life.  

Two days before the storm, as it was taking aim, I threw a shovel into the pickup and went off to the county’s  emergency sandbag site.  It was a much harder effort than I anticipated.  I had to hold the bag with one hand and dump in the shovel of dirt with the other. I had to park about a half block from the sand pile and the rickety wheelbarrow could only handle two of the fifty pound bags, and then its wheel wobbled and squeaked the whole way, all up hill, as I pushed it through the many ruts.  

I was exhausted as I returned the empty wheelbarrow on the last trip.  Then I saw the elderly lady trying to fill a sandbag with a toy shovel.   It was a ridiculous sight.  How could she possibly think she could accomplish what humbled me with far greater strength?  That is when I realized I was looking at a woman of Great Faith.  She knew her God loved her and would provide for her.  She knew she only had to put out into the deep water and God would do the rest.  And that is when I knew I was sent to do the rest.

She held the bags open and I filled them with dirt, hauled them up to her car and loaded them into her trunk.   Half way up to her car, with two trips to go, I was feeling dizzy & stopped.  I prayed a short prayer for the Lord to give me strength.  With my head down and shoulders forward, I struggled to get the wheelbarrow started again, when two large arms attached to a young marine snatched up both sandbags –he was the Strength God sent my way, and he didn’t even use the wheelbarrow for the last two sandbags!  Later that day I returned with my daughter and our Lord sent two more young marines to help us finish.  God waits to fill our nets.

The day before the storm, my wife Katy put out to the deep.  Just on the other side of our property line is a giant dying oak tree.  It had a limb, about two feet at its base, which hung seventy-five feet out over to our shop.  She prayed to God that he would not allow it to fall on the roof.  The next morning we went out to survey the damage.  Katy fell to her knees and cried a prayer of thanksgiving.  The huge limb was twisted off, cast around its trunk, and off of our property.  Again, God was just waiting to fill our net.

We had no electricity for four days.  With a refrigerator and a garage freezer full of food, we were blessed to have the generator and fuel to keep them running, and run our water pump as well.  The generator is not big enough to run everything at once, so I had to turn fuses on and off according to need.  On the second day I made a serious mistake and accidentally turned on the main fuse which caused our little generator to be connected to all the houses and downed lines connected to our electric grid.  When I returned a few hours later to check on it, I saw it was no longer producing electricity, and realized what I had done.

Three times I pushed the overload reset buttons and checked with my meter, but it remained dead.  I turned the broken generator off and in the silence tried to come up with a plan to replenish our water, and to save some of the food.  I was dejected and upset at my careless error.  The prospect of its consequences drove me to an irrational act.  Without thinking, I laid my right hand on the dead generator and prayed, “Lord, I am calling on your Mercy.  I do not deserve to ask you this, but I know you can fix whatever is broken in this generator.  In your Name, Jesus Christ, I pray you will fix it.”

I felt silly praying that prayer, but desperation trumped my pride.  Without giving myself time to wonder about the prayer, I restarted the motor and the generator came back to life as if nothing ever happened.  It was my turn to fall to my knees in tears and thank God for his miraculous intervention. 

Who can fathom the mind of God or understand his motives?  It is futile to wonder why God took pity on me, a foolish sinner, while somewhere a mother may be burying a child.  What happens in the world of Faith is mystery.  Worthiness, logic, fairness, nor magnitude determines God’s response to our prayer. It is not for us to know how or why prayer works.  It is only for us to come before our Creator with Faith in his Love for us.  It is for us to put out into deep water …to throw ourselves into the Ocean of His Mercy.  This I know, he cannot fill our nets unless we do.

Holy Spirit, do not allow me to pass by the chance for my Lord to show his Love.  Give me a heart quick to pray.  Fill it with Faith in your Love and Mercy.  Grant me the love and courage to pray for others who are in need of only what you can offer.  Thank you Lord for loving me, for providing for me, for being Faithful when I am found wanting.

Well Of Salvation

Well Of Salvation

“…anyone who drinks the water that I shall give will never be thirsty again: the water that I shall give will turn into a spring inside him, welling up to eternal life'.” (John 4:14)

            John’s account of Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well has become one of the most popular Gospel stories, in no small part, due to the endless lessons to be drawn from it.  

         After a half day of walking, Jesus sat down at Jacob’s well.  He was tired.  It was hot. Everybody was hungry and the food was gone.  He sent the disciples to go to town for food, leaving himself alone under the noon sun.  

For most of us, this would not be a good time to pray.  But for Jesus, whenever he is off alone, we find him in prayer with his Father.  And whenever he prays, something big happens.  This inopportune prayer was no different, for it set up an encounter which has become a Window-to-God for all of history.  Two millennia and billions of views later, I peeked into it this morning, as I reflected on this glimpse into the Mind of Jesus.  

The Samaritans were despised by the Jews for having mingled with pagan gods, and, this Samaritan woman was despised by her own people for adulterous relationships.  She was a spurned woman of a spurned nation.  And, based on her history of five ex-husbands, it is certain she knew loneliness.  She went to the well in the heat of the day hoping to draw water, free from the crowd of insults.  Little did she know that her encounter with Jesus would free her from all insults, that his Welcoming Presence would slack her thirst to be known and loved,  that this Well-Coming would transform her life.

When she set off in loneliness to the well, she had no idea she was approaching the Wellspring of Salvation.  When she discovered Jesus, she encountered unconditional love.  She spent her life hiding her real self to avoid rejection.  Now, she encounters a man who knows her better than she knows herself, a man from whom there is no need to hide shame –for he knows all about her yet still gazes upon her with love.  She thought he needed her for life giving water.  Now, she recognizes Jesus as the Wellspring of Life.  She came, tough-as-nails; now, her heart is melted by Love.   She came ashamed.  Now, she knows she is precious in the Eyes of God.

The Samaritan woman’s encounter with Jesus prefigures our encounter with him in prayer.  When the disciples return, they urge Jesus to eat some food, but he replies, “I have food to eat that you do not know about.”  When they left him alone, he was really hungry, but, he was not really alone -he was encountering the Love of his Father in prayer.  He was receiving the sustenance required to be obedient to the Father’s Will.  He was finding the clarity to live in Truth.

          When we commit to a daily time of prayer, we are establishing a Well-Coming with Jesus; where he pours the Love of his Holy Spirit into our heart; where we will discover our true worth –that we are prized by the Father of Creation; where we are freed from shame and dare to gaze into his Loving Eyes; where we will find the nourishment to persevere in faith; where we encounter that spring ‘welling up to eternal life’.

See And Believe

“You can see and still you do not believe.” (Jn 6:36) …“Whoever sees the son and believes in him shall have the eternal life.” (Jn 6:40)   In this sixth chapter of the Gospel of John the Bread of Life is revealed, and these two verses challenge us to a Eucharistic Faith.

Jesus Christ, the ‘Un-Knowable I-Am’, has become the Word-Made-Flesh.  The Bread-Sent-From-Heaven has made himself known to us.  Because of sin, we have eyes but do not see; ears but do not hear; thirst but do not drink; and hunger but do not eat.  

To See and Believe, this is Christ’s call.  To “See” Jesus is to hear his Word; to encounter his Love; to taste the Bread of Life.  To “Believe” in Jesus is to choose to follow Him –to live in his Truth.

Jesus made himself known to Israel through many acts of love: signs and wonders; the gift of his Flesh and Blood; and his Crucifixion.  Yet most did not See or Believe.  He continues still to make himself known -to all who have eyes to See and ears to Hear; who Hunger for the Bread of Life and Thirst for the Living Water; who are willing to Drink of the Cup of His Blood.

Before we can choose Jesus, before we can exercise Faith, we must first encounter him as Truth.  As it is God’s Will that all Man be saved –that all come to Know and Love him (Jn6:39)- we have to assume that he must Reveal himself to every soul, for he is as Just as he is Loving.  However, it would be a sin of presumption to assume that this revelation will happen outside of our participation.

Free-will cannot exist without personal responsibility –we must have a Choice, and we must have the freedom to Accept or Reject it.  Neither can Faith exist without Works, nor Love without Deeds.  And so it is that Truth is only found with Hunger and Thirst.  It is for us to Ask, Seek and Knock (Mt 7:7), for “The nearer you go to God, the nearer he will come to you.” (James 4:8).  We cannot expect to See God if we are not looking for him.  But if we do so with all our heart, he promises to show himself to us (Deut 4:29).

That the Un-Knowable God will make himself Known is Truth.  It is the Word of God, witnessed and testified to throughout the ages.  He is ever waiting for us to See and Believe –through Prayer, through his Word, and in the Eucharist- waiting to be encountered, waiting to be loved.   

God is waiting, but it is an active waiting.  As Father of all Prodigal Sons, he is not just waiting for us to discover our true Sonship, but he is eternally sending forth his Spirit to woo us -as he unleashes the Hound of Heaven, to plant in our heart, pangs of hunger for Home; as he sends the Good Shepherd to seek out his Lost Love.

If we but call out to him, he will find us in our darkness.  In truth, he is already present -just waiting for us to recognize our need for him.  For it is only in our Need that we recognize his Face.  It is only in our Hunger and Thirst that we have cause to Believe in who can assuage.  In a cosmic act of Mercy, God has allowed himself to suffer need –to have to wait for us to choose his Burning Love.  

Most of us, before giving ourselves over to a life of Faith, must first discover our miserable-ness, our desperate need, our depravity of Love.  It is this Humble Knowing which loosens the scales of sin from our eyes and allows us to “See” our Lord.  In standing exposed before him, seeing that our Nakedness does not cause his Love to flinch, we are freed to love him whose Love has found us -we see and believe.  

          When we see Jesus as Love, then we believe in the Source Of All Love, and this Knowing Encounter impels us to Praise our God of Love.  Such is our Eucharistic Faith.  Eucharist means Thanksgiving or Gratitude.  So it is that in receiving the Love of Jesus, we find the Bread of Life –we consume him in order to be consumed by him; we embrace him to become Lost in his Mercy, where we find the courage to die for Eternal Life.

How Much Is Enough?

How Much Is Enough?

“Try your best to enter by the narrow door, because, I tell you, many will try to enter and will not succeed.” (Luke 13:24)   

         Luke makes no effort to soften these Words of Jesus.  Matthew’s version of the narrow gate (Mt 7:13) is no different.  They are not meant to provide comfort, but to light a Fire.  Other translations of Luke say ‘Make every effort’ or ‘Strive’ to enter.  In each case, the root meaning evokes struggle –a struggle in which many will not succeed.  

         What Jesus says, and who Jesus is, is one and the same.  He said, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.”  He said what he lived.  If I am to be obedient to what he Says, then my life must be congruent with his Life.  And if this is the standard, against which I will fail or succeed, then what cause do I have to Hope?  Do I have even kindle for Fire?  

         The things I Profess with all my heart are the very things which expose the gap between ‘what I say’ and ‘who I am’.  It is the gap in my Integrity -where what I Profess is not fully integrated into what I Do. This gap is the portrait of my Weakness, my Self-Delusion, my Unwillingness to Die, my Hidden Distrust of God’s Love.  It is a reflection of my compromised commitment to the Narrow Way.

          ‘Try your best to enter by the narrow door…’ these Words of Jesus are exhorting me to narrow my gap, for, ‘to live a holy life is to be holy just as he is holy.’ (1Jn 3:7).  But will my ‘best’ be good enough?  If I, in this life, will never live up to what I Profess -to be a faithful follower of Christ- then, what cause do I have to Hope?  Do I have even kindle for Fire?

         I have a vivid memory four decades old.  Shame has not allowed it to fade.  I just gave my life to Christ and had a brand new Cross hanging from my neck.  I stopped by a friend, with whom I had done drugs in the past, to witness to him.  I began that night telling him about my new life in Jesus and I left that night stoned.

This memory, though shameful, is a sure cause to Hope.  I was unfaithful but Jesus remained faithful.  I abandoned him, but he did not abandon me.  As I was struggling in my failure, he was rejoicing in my return.

‘…many will try to enter and will not succeed.’  Yes, this is a hard Word.  Yes, Jesus, the Inviolable Truth, defines what is acceptable to the Kingdom of God; and he is the Only Door; but… he is the Narrow Way which opens wide to the Prodigal’s Father -whose Mercy searches the horizon of sin for a Repentant Soul.

         This event of trying to enter by the narrow door is not the moment at the end of my life when I am judged (then, it would be too late); it is every moment of my life since saying “yes” to Jesus’ invitation.  It is the lifelong struggle of submitting to the Saving Hand of God.  And from this perspective, not only will many not succeed, but all will fail!  For, we all have fallen short in sin.  

         The Many, who will not succeed, are not those who fail, but those who quit; who leave the path; who say, “Yes Father, I will do your work” but then, go their own way.  They are the ones who relinquish the Struggle, who resign themselves to the Lukewarm.

         John’s perspective of ‘Jesus-The-Gate’ is from a different window than Matthew and Luke:  Jesus says, ‘I am the gate.  Anyone who enters through me will be safe: he will go freely in and out and be sure of finding pasture.’ (Jn 10:9).  Jesus is still the Way and the Truth, but here, rather than focusing on Truth’s Judgment, John emphasizes Truth’s Salvation: If we, the Needy Sheep, walk in the Freedom of Truth we will surely find Life.

         Truth; Judgment; Salvation; Repentance; Obedience and Mercy –These are the footstones of the Narrow Way to Life and many will not find their footprints upon them.  This is the truth that brings God to tears.  …But for the Grace of God.  …But for the Grace of God.

         Jesus has brought me a long way since my shameful first attempt to evangelize.  I have failed many more times at the Narrow Way.  And each time my Good Shepherd rescues me -at the price of his Blood- always carrying me, held to his breast, back to the Fold.  My struggle is as hard as it has ever been, but the gap between what I Profess and who I Am has narrowed –and this is great cause for Hope; kindling for his Fire.

He Saw A Man

He Saw A Man (Matthew 9:9)

“As Jesus was walking on from there he saw a man named Matthew sitting by the customs house, and he said to him, 'Follow me'.  And he got up and followed him.”  

         ‘As Jesus was walking on from there…’  Flashback: He had just come from the house where a paralytic was lowered through the roof.  The Pharisees condemned Jesus for forgiving the paralytic’s sins, whereupon Jesus proved the Son of Man has the authority to forgive sins by miraculously healing him.

         ‘…he saw a man named Matthew’.  Jesus beheld a tax collector, a Sinner loathed by all, but saw a Man -whom he had called into existence, whom his Father loves, who is alive by the Breath of his Spirit.  Moved by compassion, Jesus called Matthew into his Fold of Friends.  Matthew was Forgiven before he was Friend.

         Later, while celebrating a meal with his New Friend, Jesus was disparaged for associating with sinners.  He replied, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  Go learn the meaning or of the words ‘What I want is mercy, not sacrifice.’ And indeed I did not come to call the virtuous, but sinners.”  (Matthew 9:12-13)

         If it were I in the body and place of Jesus, I would have seen, not Matthew the Man, but a Sinner.  I would have seen the Tax Collector, the Extorter of Widows -who leeched upon the poor, who ate the bread of hungry children; who forced fathers to labor late hours to feed his greed.  I, who had shared the sins of Matthew, who had been Forgiven and called into The Fold, would have yet still seen the Sin.  At best, in my busyness of doing good, I would have judged him ‘not ready’ for The Fold.  

         But the Truth is, I am in the Body and Place of Jesus.  I have answered his call.  I am sent to Forgive the sin; to Embrace the sinner -to Befriend all into The Fold.  It is for me to say, “My brother, I have sinned and been forgiven -and you can be too!  I was sick and have been healed -and you can be too!”  It is for me to say, “Hey Matt, take my hand -let us follow Jesus.  He’s calling us into The Fold!”

        Jesus, I want to love with your Heart, to see with your Eyes.  Wrench from my soul all disparaging thoughts, pride and condescension.  Shield my eyes from the Problems that I may see the Possibilities.  Let not my inclination to judge blind me of Love and Hope.  

         Lord, whoever is touched by your Spirit is made New.  When you bring before me one sickened by sin, as I behold the sickness, let me see the Life to be.  May your Mercy give me eyes to see The Man you are calling into Being.

The Door

The Door

         What’s up with The Door?  Two Gospels make reference to The Door which locks us out of God’s Presence.  Matthew 25:10 refers to the Foolish Bridesmaids caught unprepared by the Bridegroom’s arrival.  They begged to be let in, but the The Door to the banquet hall was already locked, and the Bridegroom said to them, “I do not know you.”  Luke 13:25 refers to the Master, who after a long day’s work, got up from supper, and locked The Door to go to bed.  To the stragglers who begged, ‘Lord, open to us’, the Master said, “I do not know where you come from.”  In both Gospels, those locked out are condemned as Strangers to God.

         Lest we portray Jesus as mercilessly cruel, there is a third reference to The Door –one with a profound nuance.  In Revelations 3:20, John also references The Door which separates the Unrepentant Sinner from Jesus, but this time, it is Jesus who is begging to be allowed to come in: “Behold, I am standing at the door, knocking. If one of you hears me calling and opens the door, I will come in to share his meal, side by side with him.”  

         In all three cases The Door separates us from Jesus.  In Matthew and Luke, The Door keeps us from Jesus, yet in Revelations, The Door keeps Jesus from us.  In Matthew and Luke, the Sinner does not control the lock.  Yet, in John, the Sinner controls the lock.  So, what is The Door and how does its lock work?

         Clearly, The Door is the consequence of personal sin, for sin separates us from God.  Sin renounces the Reign of God over our life as it exalts the Reign of Self over God.  Sin is the bottom line of where we stand in relationship to God.  We are cast as Strangers, not because Jesus does not know our name, or where we were born, but because our selfish life is foreign to him –he knows only the Will of the Father.  He cannot relate to disobedience, nor can the Disobedient relate to him.

         If The Door is the consequence of sin, then the lock speaks to the ‘eternal-ness’ of that consequence.  Matthew and Luke plainly describe, that once The Door is shut, it cannot be opened –yet, John clearly has Jesus hoping it will open again.  Why the difference?  The difference is not so much ‘why’ as ‘when’ -for the ‘when’ makes all the difference in the world.

         In Matthew and Luke, The Door is locked at the coming of Night.  Scripture tells us we have but one life to live, and then we are judged.  Like the Bridesmaids, ‘we do not know either the day or the hour’ of that All Important Moment -when our ultimate destiny becomes Eternally Chosen.

         And lest we portray this Sober Truth as mercilessly cruel, John, the Disciple Whom Jesus Loved, leaves us with the Hope of Mercy –with the Sacred Heart of Jesus knocking at The Door of our heart, begging that we trust him to become Lord in our life.  While we yet breathe, we are in the Season of Mercy –repenting of our selfish ways immediately opens The Door to the Bridegroom who so Desires our heart.

Caught In The Act Of Life

Caught In The Act Of Life

         Sooner or later, every child gets caught with their fingers in the cookie jar.  This pivotal moment is unpleasant for both child and parent.  The wise and just parent, who rewards good behavior, must now discipline their beloved child; and the child, must receive, and hopefully learn, the consequence of disobedience.

From the parent’s perspective, something painful but very wonderful, has happened.  Their child is one step closer to acquiring a righteous character.  The child, of course, cannot perceive the parent’s Good in this moment –he only can see what he desires.  Growing up is hard to do.  Raising a child is incomparably harder.  This is not surprising, as parenting is the task of God.

         This snapshot of Life, from God’s perspective, can unfold in only two ways: the child will choose to live for God, or, for Self.  The Man-Child will become Righteous, as in the image of his God; or Lost, as in his own self-created image.  The Man-Child has but one Life to be Judged, and the code of judgment will not be of the Man-Child’s Arrogance, but of God’s Truth –for the reward of a Righteous Life is Eternal Light, and the Consequence of living for Self is Eternal Darkness.

         This is what Jesus’ parable of the fishnet (MT 13:47) is about.  All the fish in the Net of Judgment were caught in the act –in Act of Life.  The Just, or Righteous, were gathered and saved. Those who were not of God, the Wicked, were thrown away.  Jesus concludes, “This is how it will be at the end of time: the angels will appear and separate the wicked from the just to throw them into the blazing furnace were there will be weeping and grinding of teeth.”  This is a sobering Truth that the world, and even many in our Church, either deny, or refuse to talk about.

         It is a painful Truth to ponder.  It causes us to wonder how the Just are deemed Righteous and saved; and how the Wicked are judged as Lost and thrown into the fire.  For, all of us have been caught -many times- with our fingers in the cookie jar, and as many times, we promised not to do it again.  We do not know how we are judged -Righteous or Wicked, but we do know what is righteous or wicked.  

         The Holy Spirit has given our Church the wisdom to connect Jesus’ parable of the fishnet with Jeremiah’s story of the potter’s wheel (JER 18:1).  Jeremiah watches the Potter form the clay on the spinning wheel.  When the clump of clay gets out of control, when it takes a form that is not congruent with the Potter’s Dream, the clump gets smacked down, and the Potter starts anew.  God then speaks to Jeremiah, “Yes, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in mine, House of Israel.”

         God, the Good Parent, disciplines the child he loves.  As long as we live, as long as the Wheel of Life still spins, God will give us another chance to be formed into His Image.  When we sin, when we choose to live according to Our Desires -in opposition to his Dream for us- we become disfigured, and in our sin, the Potter’s Hand of Mercy smacks us down.  We are, of course, usually blind to the Good in that Moment of Mercy, but something wonderful has just taken place.  We have been given another chance to become a Faithful Vessel of God’s Love –to live according to his Perfect Plan for us.

         We are given two stories of Truth: the parable in Matthew, of God’s Judgment; and the story in Jeremiah, of God’s Mercy –how do they co-exist?  Is the Clump of Clay eternally destined according to its form in that moment when the Wheel of Life stops?  Do I commit a sin of presumption –by banking on God’s Mercy?  If I say, ‘I am sorry’ knowing I will probably do it again, am I really sorry, can I expect Forgiveness?  I do not know the answers to these questions.  But, I do know what is expected of me, and, that in the end, the path I choose in this Life will lead to my Eternal Judgment.

         Lord, I want to be Faithful.  I want to live for you –in Truth and Love.  Do not let me wander from you.  Do whatever it takes.  I am hopelessly distracted by anxieties and selfish desires, and I can deceive myself for a whim.  Who I am, and who I want to be, are blurred by sin.  Holy Spirit, give me Eyes clarified by Truth, set them like flint, on my Lord Jesus.  Father, I acknowledge your Mercy as I confess my lowliness.  Jesus, by the Blood of your Cross, my Sins have been swallowed –consumed and forgotten.  I will follow you, by the Light of your Holy Spirit, into the Bosom of our Father.  This is my prayer.  Lord, you are my Hope.

Anyone Who Is Angry

Anyone Who Is Angry (Matthew 5:20+)

         “For I tell you, if your virtue goes no deeper than that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never get into the kingdom of heaven.  You have learnt how it was said to our ancestors: You must not kill; and if anyone does kill he must answer for it before the court.  But I say this to you: anyone who is angry with his brother will answer for it before the court;”

         The scribes and Pharisees seem to have confused virtue with religious piety.  If righteousness urges a soul towards piety, then that act of piety is a reflection of virtue.  But if one does a good thing for a wrong reason -like pride, fear or self gain- then that same act of piety is a reflection of depravity.  In both cases, an act of piety has taken place; but in the end, the deed can only be judged by the intentions of the heart from which it came.  Fortunately for us, judging those appearances belongs only to God.

         This rebuke from Jesus calls us to seriously examine the matters of our heart.  Jesus goes on to say, that before we approach his altar, before we offer him our heart, he first wants us to resolve the broken relationships which divide and corrupt the heart we are offering him.  Just as we are judged guilty in the court of God if we harbor anger in our hearts, this same Unforgiveness, he then warns, will surely imprison us.  It is the inner thoughts of our heart which give birth to our actions –both good and bad.  And it is for this reason, that Jesus’ absolute intolerance of Unforgiveness exposes it for the insidious cancer it is.  

I know a gentle and kind person who is held in high esteem by his faith community.  He was provoked, over a period of time by a mean-spirited neighbor, with many acts of hostility.  At some point, my friend gave in to retaliation.   It began with small annoying actions.  Today, this successful man, loving husband and father, is facing a jail term.  His impending imprisonment began when he allowed his heart to become imprisoned by Unforgiveness.  He had the good fortune of getting caught, of having his Unforgiveness exposed in a manner, which very publicly, is demanding him to repent.  But we, who successfully hide our Unforgiveness, are in a m0st grave danger.

         In the eyes of the world, Jesus’ radical call to Mercy, of ‘turning our cheek’ and ‘loving our enemy’ is both foolish and impossible.  Yet Jesus double downs with his Word, “And if your right hand should cause you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; for it will do you less harm to lose one part of you than to have your whole body go to hell.”  Using the harshest imagery possible, Jesus is pleading with us to consider the eternal consequences for those secret machinations in our heart, for our obstinacy in demanding our justice over God’s Mercy.  

It is impossible to love someone who has wronged us -if we cling to Unforgiveness.  But Jesus has shown us another way –the Way of Mercy, of Loving Unjustly, as we would have him Unjustly Love us.  To demand our justice over God’s Mercy is always a choice made in Darkness, for, “God's righteousness is never served by man's anger;” (James 1:20).   Anger begets anger.  Love begets love.  God’s ways are as high above our ways as the stars above the earth.  So too, are the sweet fruits of his Mercy above the bitter fruits of our Unforgiveness.

         Lord Jesus, your dying prayer was for us to be one -as you and your Father are one.  Yet, I wretchedly stand before you, as one quick to judge and slow to show Mercy.  Unforgiveness is still seductive to my soul.  I am easily offended -one, need only to think differently than I, to earn my disdain.  How can I ever be one with you –you who cherish those whom I disdain?  Save me Lord!  Deliver me from my pride. My heart is disfigured by self righteousness.  Heal my soul.  Your Mercy is my only Hope.  Convert my heart.  Open my eyes.  Fill me with the Love I do not possess.  Whatever the cost Lord, you have my permission to make me so.  I would rather lose a hand or an eye, than to lose an eternity in love with you.