Lamps, Light and Love

Lamps, Light and Love

[Then the kingdom of heaven will be like this: Ten bridesmaids took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom.   Five of them were foolish and five were sensible: the foolish ones did take their lamps, but they brought no oil, whereas the sensible ones took flasks of oil as well as their lamps.   The bridegroom was late, and they all grew drowsy and fell asleep.  But at midnight there was a cry, "The bridegroom is here! Go out and meet him."   At this, all those bridesmaids woke up and trimmed their lamps, and the foolish ones said to the sensible ones, "Give us some of your oil: our lamps are going out".  But they replied, "There may not be enough for us and for you; you had better go to those who sell it and buy some for yourselves".   They had gone off to buy it when the bridegroom arrived. Those who were ready went in with him to the wedding hall and the door was closed.  The other bridesmaids arrived later. "Lord, Lord," they said "open the door for us."  But he replied, "I tell you solemnly, I do not know you".  So stay awake, because you do not know either the day or the hour.] (Matthew 25:1-13)

         The context of this parable of the Ten Bridesmaids (literally, Virgins) is foreign to our marriage customs today.  Back then, after the marriage betrothal, the bridegroom would leave the bride with her father, and return to his father’s house to prepare a home for her.  When all was ready, he would then triumphantly return to claim his bride.  The young unmarried bridesmaids would go out to greet and usher him in, and the community would celebrate the union.  This is my limited understanding of that ancient ritual.  The following is my imaginings of what our Lord’s parable might mean for us today.

         Most importantly, it is a love story –of our God who frames the culmination of life in Spousal Love.  That the Creator, of all that is, joins himself to us in the intimacy of a marriage union, can only be mystery to which everything else in the story points to.  As in all love stories, happiness is revealed against the contrast of tragedy.  Here, the Faithful are rewarded with Eternal Joy, while those who did not persevere to the end, were unable to pass through Judgment’s Door.

         This entire chapter is in fact, about the Great Judgment waiting to expose the film of our lives.  It is inevitable, inescapable, and there are no do-overs.  All humanity shares in the same drama: gifted with Life, destined for Love, we must struggle to accept or reject our Divine Purpose.  This opening parable, I believe, speaks to this Judgment, to what is required of us, and to what will insure our success.

         First, let us acknowledge that all ten bridesmaids set out to meet the Bridegroom.  Some were wise and some were foolish, but all had made the commitment to seek and join him; all of them discerned their Divine Purpose; all began the journey.  They were Virgins, they were saving themselves for the Husband of Their Dream; they were unattached, free to throw themselves without distractions into their calling.  And, if we were allowed to flesh out the details of this story, most certainly, there might be many other players beside the Ten: those who spurned the invitation to greet the Bridegroom; those who were not saving themselves for the Other, who only sought to please themselves; those who were beyond foolish, who were already Lost.

         The Ten, were a privileged lot.  They found their Purpose, their Meaning in Life.  They were a Consecrated People; set aside to bear light on the Light of Lights; to usher in the Source of all Light and join with him in Love.  So it was that all on the journey carried a Lamp Burning.  

         What can this all mean?  To be found with our light burning brightly is mission critical.  We will either pass or fail.  There is no second chance.  This is our common destiny, our unavoidable test.  That it will happen is certain, but when is never known.  

         The lamp’s Light is the Burning Fire of Love.  But, it is not for illuminating the path, ‘going as we do by faith and not by sight’ (2COR 5:7), for, “anyone who loves his brother is living in the light and need not be afraid of stumbling’ (1JN 2:10).  Rather, our Light, our Love, is to be a Sign: that we may be identified; that the Bridegroom will not say of us, “I do not know you."  For, ‘everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.’ (1John 4:7).  Love is the reason for breath -what brings us into Eternal Light.     

Oil must burn before it becomes Light, and we must die before we can love.  The lamps then, are where Oil is sacrificed to become Light.  If light is the product of something consumed, then the lamps are Occasions of Love -where Self is sacrificed; where Selfish Desire is consumed by Grace; where Will submits to Obedience.  To carry a lamp is to be a Living Yes -to a God who only asks for Love.  To carry a lamp is to give witness -to be a Reflection of our Creator; to be a consecrated Vessel of Love.

The Oil is the fuel, the source, the Grace which ignites into Love.  It is the essence of our Living Yes, yet it comes not of our self, but of God –it is, in Truth, God himself.  That is why it is not our possession, to give away to one who has not.  It can only be attained through surrender.  The Oil is the Spirit of God, whose image we become in Love.  It is Mystery manifested; the Incarnate becoming carnate, and the carnate becoming Divine.  It is the Quintessence of Grace.

All of the Ten began with their lamps full of Oil, but only the sensible ones took flasks of oil.  They understood more would be demanded, that the night would take them where they could go no longer, where their youth would be humbled, their exuberance shriveled, where a blood moon would cast them as a shadow of the Cross.  Only the wise ones readied themselves for the midnight hour: where weariness closes eyes to Hope; where inner strength runs dry, and Darkness erases the memory of Sun.  They knew that only ‘Those who were ready went in with him to the wedding hall…’    

It was, in this Midnight Hour, that the Foolish Five left their watch.  Faith blinked within.  Fear of Emptiness drove them away -just inches from journey’s end.  It was also, in this Midnight Hour, that the Faithful Five dipped into their flasks of oil.  With flames burning bright, they shook off the Darkness and greeted the Bridegroom.  Radiant with Joy, the Night became a New Day.

          And what might be these Saving flasks of oil in our lives?  We cannot persevere in Love without Faith and Hope.  So, that which Anchors us in these virtues becomes our flasks of oil: Feeding on the Body and Blood of Christ; daily Prayer and Scripture; Christian Community -whatever calls us into Truth will root us in the Promises of God, where Fear and Darkness cannot coexist with the Light of Love.  Faith and Hope then, ever renewed, ever regenerated by Truth, guarantees that we will be found in Love; that with our Light burning brightly, we will be Recognized, and the Door will be opened unto us.

The Gift

The Gift

           I am a sucker for time travel movies. I pride myself as logical, yet, I find myself seduced by the implausible –hoping against hope.  They all have the same plot: the protagonist living in regret, lamenting a future made dismal by an event from the past, is given the chance for a do-over.  Of course, time travel stories are based on the premise that the impossible is possible, that the consequences of the past are undo-able.  And, since the past is changeable, there must then, exist alternate realities to add to the storyline’s intrigue.

         Not strangely, the Gospel Story speaks to this same universal dream –that there exists for us a chance for a do-over; to un-do the sins of our past; to change the course of our future.  And this is the Advent message of John the Baptist, that in our repentance we will find The Gift; The One Sent; The Savior; The One who uttered the Ancient Word, “I know the plans I have in mind for you - it is Yahweh who speaks - plans for peace, not disaster, reserving a future full of hope for you.” (JER 29:11).  Unlike the fantastical offered by time travel movies, the Gospel offers, in Truth, The Gift which holds out to us the chance to erase our past sins and to receive a New Life, with a future full of hope.

         Luke records these Words of Jesus regarding the Voice crying out in the wilderness, “All the people who heard him, and the tax collectors too, acknowledged God's plan by accepting baptism from John; but by refusing baptism from him the Pharisees and the lawyers had thwarted what God had in mind for them.” (LK 7:29).  Here, Jesus poises the Present Moment as a point about to diverge along two alternate realities: those who accept John’s call to Repentance receive The Gift of a New Life, to be Born Again with a new future; and those who refuse to repent, remain mired in their Sin, and thwart the wonderful future that ‘God had in mind for them’.  The world was then, and still is today, divided into those who receive The Gift, and those who reject Him.

         Earlier, in chapter three, we read of John, “He said, therefore, to the crowds who came to be baptized by him, 'Brood of vipers, who warned you to fly from the retribution that is coming?  But if you are repentant, produce the appropriate fruits…” (Lk 3:7).  All in the crowd had sinned against God, so, all had earned the title ‘brood of vipers’ –all were under the retribution of their Sin.  

         The answer, to who warned them to flee from it, is none other than the Spirit of God within, the Voice of conscience, bending to the gravity of what they have done.  This repentance is the gift that introduces them to The Gift.  It is the Seed that leads to a Death which is raised up to New Life.  And it is this Death which is evidence of the appropriate fruits –a life lived for God.  Some in the crowd heard John’s call to Repentance; accepted Gods’ plan for their lives; turned from Sin and made straight the path in their hearts to receive the One Sent, the Savior of the world.  And some in the crowd did not.

         Father, this Advent as I gaze upon The Gift of your Son, may your Spirit gently gift me with the revelation of my wretchedness, with the gravity of my Sin, that I may fly to your Mercy, that I may Live Anew in all ways pleasing to you.  Jesus, you are The Gift of my desire.  I submit to John’s baptism of repentance –I stand washed in the Water gushing from your Wound on the Cross, washed of the Sin I renounce.  Baptize me now, in your Holy Spirit and Fire –empower me to live in the Light of your Truth.  This, my plea for your Mercy, is the only gift I have to offer.  I wrap it in Faith, Hope and Love.

Lord, Lord

Lord, Lord (Matthew 7:21-27)

'It is not those who say to me, "Lord, Lord", who will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the person who does the will of my Father in heaven.’ (Mt 7:21)

          This warning of Jesus is addressed, not to the unconverted, but to his followers.  And paradoxically, it is these followers who are most unaware of their need to hear it.

         Jesus then takes them to the Last Judgment: ‘When the day comes many will say to me, "Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, cast out demons in your name, work many miracles in your name?”  Then I shall tell them to their faces: I have never known you; away from me, you evil men!' (Mt 7:22-3)  This is a most perplexing Word –Jesus has called men evil that spent their lives doing very good things in his name.

         How can this be, especially since he had just finished teaching about how we will be judged by our fruits? (Mt 7:19)  Would not prophesying, casting out demons, working miracles –all in the name of Jesus- be considered exemplary fruit of a Christian?  At first sight it might seem like we are literally damned if do and damned if we don’t –those who did not bear good fruit are condemned, and, those who did bear good fruit were also condemned.  A superficial reading of these neighboring verses might leave one conflicted.

         A startling encounter, over three decades ago, has given me an insight into this perplexing Word of Jesus.  I had crossed paths with a renowned evangelist who was an inspiring preacher with a ministry for healing eyes –which my wife personally experienced.  The last night of his ministering, after a particularly moving healing service, he invited me to dinner.  We talked about the Lord and the wonderful things that had happened, but then, the conversation took a surprising turn -he was propositioning me!  I was stunned as I stumbled away from that dinner table.

         It took a while to process what I had witnessed –how God allows the sinful to speak and do wonders in his Name.  I came to see that I was not all that different from the fallen evangelist.  As a leader in Christian community, I too spoke and did good things in the Name of Jesus; and I too struggled with sin not known to others.  All of the Twelve did wondrous things in the Name of Jesus; and all of them struggled with inner weakness and sin; but only one was eternally defined by betrayal.  What can explain the difference?  Could the answer lie in Jesus’ concluding parable on Judgment Day?

         He tells the story of two men who each built a house. The sensible man’s was on rock and the foolish one’s was on sand.  Both weathered severe storms –only the one built on rock remained.  The house symbolizes the sum total of our life.  The ‘falling’ or ‘standing’ is our eternal destiny.  And the foundation (not the storm) determines that destiny.  

         The house on sand is a life founded on serving selfish desire.  The house on rock is a life based on the Father’s Will.   Our house may be magnificent, but if it is built on sand, it will fall when subjected to the Storm of flood and wind –the Last Judgment.   But the house built on the Rock of Faithfulness, even if it appears small and simple, shall endure into Glory.  So it is that we cannot judge by appearances.  A Life that appears tidy and secure may be in grave danger of damnation; and a life that seems amiss may be silently forging Eternal Reward.

         So what can we learn from this alarming Word of Jesus?  For one, ‘Faith without works’ is dead, and, ‘works without Faith’ is just as dead.  But for me, the most urgent lesson is the insidious nature of Sin.  The “Lord, Lord” followers of Jesus were on the path to damnation.  They were beguiled by the good works in their lives.  Blinded to their sin, and justified by their righteous works, they came to believe the lie that they lived, instead of the Lord they served when first begun.  What makes this so dangerous is that these Deceived Souls, active in ministry, forgot their need for a Savior.

         This deception does not happen overnight.  It begins with our tolerance of “small” sins.  Maybe we excuse a sinful behavior because of the stress we are under as a result of doing good things; or maybe we justify a shady act in order to accomplish a good that we want; maybe we just feel like we “deserve” this one little sin.  Imperceptibly, but inevitably, if not repented of, these “small” sins define the character of our soul. The exception becomes the norm –Sin rules our soul and our house is now destined to collapse if subjected to Storm’s Truth.

         Jesus provides the answer: “Therefore, anyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like the sensible man who built his house on the rock.” (Mt 7:24)  To listen to and act on the words of Jesus is the definition of Obedient Faith.  Obedience is a binary choice –yes or no.  It is never ‘mostly’ or ‘maybe a little not’.  We can never allow ourselves to willfully choose to disobey the Will of God.  Likewise, Faithfulness is a binary condition –we are either Faithful or Unfaithful.  

         To say that I know Jesus, and yet willfully choose to violate his Word, is to place those horrific words into Jesus’ mouth: “I have never known you; away from me, you evil men!”  Imagine this scenario:  I have publicly professed to be a follower of Christ, yet willfully invite Sin into my life.  I die suddenly and find myself exposed to the Light of Truth.  Could I have the audacity to look into the Face of God and beg for Mercy?  Could I lie to Him and say I do not deserve condemnation?  And, if finding myself in the Flames of Hell, would I be eternally consumed with the question “What was I thinking?”  Is this the Price of Sin?

         Jesus, save me from my sins.  Holy Spirit, instill in me a hatred for Sin and a Love for my Father’s Will.  Father, I desire to be a Faithful Son.  Possess me and displace all Selfishness with your Love.  I give you permission to do whatever it takes for me to be conformed to your Purpose for my life.  Make it so, Lord.  Make it so.

Remain In Me

Remain In Me (John 15:1-8)

“Make your home in me, as I make mine in you.  As a branch cannot bear fruit all by itself, but must remain part of the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me.”  

To remain in Christ is to live in his Word, to put on the Mind of Christ, to Believe in him, to be Obedient to his Will.  To remain in him is to make our home in him, to abide in the Life of Christ, to abandon our soul into the Trinitarian Embrace –to be grafted, through the Faith of Baptism, to the Vine of Life.

         Thus does the Branch receive freely from the Vine to have its needs met.  The Vine knows what the Branch needs and provides for it -as blood gives life to the body, so does the Branch of Christ, gives his Holy Spirit to his Branches.  

To be in union with Christ, is then, the key to faith’s doorway: “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask what you will and you shall get it.”  For Jesus himself, the Eternal Intercessor, standing before the Father, gives Voice to our needs (Hebrews  7:25)  –because the Vine is in Love -in Union with- the Branch.

         As we remain in him, we receive the Substance and the Sustenance of Life.   The Substance, the Body and Blood of Christ, co-mingles us with God.  The Sustenance -the Holy Spirit- is the Infilling of the Father’s Love, the Breath which brings us to Life.

In making our home in Jesus, we witness his bringing forth Life from Death.  It means we eagerly submit our sins to the Father’s pruning shears, because our Faith and Hope guarantee we shall bear much fruit –that we shall bring much glory to our Father as Faithful Stewards of his Love.  It means that the cost of Loving others, as Christ Loves us, is infinitely miniscule compared to the reward of Knowing God –of Abiding in his Love.

Jesus, in abandoning my heart into your Mercy, I become possessed by you.  In consuming the Bread of Life, the God of Life consumes my Darkness, exchanging my heart of stone for your Heart of Love.  In drinking your Cup, I surrender to your Will –your Precious Spirit becomes the Blood of my blood, my Source of Life and Love.  

          Jesus, I remain in you only because you remain in me.  All praise is due to you, All Faithful Lord.  You bore the Cross that this lowly branch may be grafted to The Divine.  What Grace, what Gift –to bear your Name, to know your Love, to make Home in my God.

See And Believe

“You can see and still you do not believe.” (Jn 6:36) …“Whoever sees the son and believes in him shall have the eternal life.” (Jn 6:40)   In this sixth chapter of the Gospel of John the Bread of Life is revealed, and these two verses challenge us to a Eucharistic Faith.

Jesus Christ, the ‘Un-Knowable I-Am’, has become the Word-Made-Flesh.  The Bread-Sent-From-Heaven has made himself known to us.  Because of sin, we have eyes but do not see; ears but do not hear; thirst but do not drink; and hunger but do not eat.  

To See and Believe, this is Christ’s call.  To “See” Jesus is to hear his Word; to encounter his Love; to taste the Bread of Life.  To “Believe” in Jesus is to choose to follow Him –to live in his Truth.

Jesus made himself known to Israel through many acts of love: signs and wonders; the gift of his Flesh and Blood; and his Crucifixion.  Yet most did not See or Believe.  He continues still to make himself known -to all who have eyes to See and ears to Hear; who Hunger for the Bread of Life and Thirst for the Living Water; who are willing to Drink of the Cup of His Blood.

Before we can choose Jesus, before we can exercise Faith, we must first encounter him as Truth.  As it is God’s Will that all Man be saved –that all come to Know and Love him (Jn6:39)- we have to assume that he must Reveal himself to every soul, for he is as Just as he is Loving.  However, it would be a sin of presumption to assume that this revelation will happen outside of our participation.

Free-will cannot exist without personal responsibility –we must have a Choice, and we must have the freedom to Accept or Reject it.  Neither can Faith exist without Works, nor Love without Deeds.  And so it is that Truth is only found with Hunger and Thirst.  It is for us to Ask, Seek and Knock (Mt 7:7), for “The nearer you go to God, the nearer he will come to you.” (James 4:8).  We cannot expect to See God if we are not looking for him.  But if we do so with all our heart, he promises to show himself to us (Deut 4:29).

That the Un-Knowable God will make himself Known is Truth.  It is the Word of God, witnessed and testified to throughout the ages.  He is ever waiting for us to See and Believe –through Prayer, through his Word, and in the Eucharist- waiting to be encountered, waiting to be loved.   

God is waiting, but it is an active waiting.  As Father of all Prodigal Sons, he is not just waiting for us to discover our true Sonship, but he is eternally sending forth his Spirit to woo us -as he unleashes the Hound of Heaven, to plant in our heart, pangs of hunger for Home; as he sends the Good Shepherd to seek out his Lost Love.

If we but call out to him, he will find us in our darkness.  In truth, he is already present -just waiting for us to recognize our need for him.  For it is only in our Need that we recognize his Face.  It is only in our Hunger and Thirst that we have cause to Believe in who can assuage.  In a cosmic act of Mercy, God has allowed himself to suffer need –to have to wait for us to choose his Burning Love.  

Most of us, before giving ourselves over to a life of Faith, must first discover our miserable-ness, our desperate need, our depravity of Love.  It is this Humble Knowing which loosens the scales of sin from our eyes and allows us to “See” our Lord.  In standing exposed before him, seeing that our Nakedness does not cause his Love to flinch, we are freed to love him whose Love has found us -we see and believe.  

          When we see Jesus as Love, then we believe in the Source Of All Love, and this Knowing Encounter impels us to Praise our God of Love.  Such is our Eucharistic Faith.  Eucharist means Thanksgiving or Gratitude.  So it is that in receiving the Love of Jesus, we find the Bread of Life –we consume him in order to be consumed by him; we embrace him to become Lost in his Mercy, where we find the courage to die for Eternal Life.

How Much Is Enough?

How Much Is Enough?

“Try your best to enter by the narrow door, because, I tell you, many will try to enter and will not succeed.” (Luke 13:24)   

         Luke makes no effort to soften these Words of Jesus.  Matthew’s version of the narrow gate (Mt 7:13) is no different.  They are not meant to provide comfort, but to light a Fire.  Other translations of Luke say ‘Make every effort’ or ‘Strive’ to enter.  In each case, the root meaning evokes struggle –a struggle in which many will not succeed.  

         What Jesus says, and who Jesus is, is one and the same.  He said, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.”  He said what he lived.  If I am to be obedient to what he Says, then my life must be congruent with his Life.  And if this is the standard, against which I will fail or succeed, then what cause do I have to Hope?  Do I have even kindle for Fire?  

         The things I Profess with all my heart are the very things which expose the gap between ‘what I say’ and ‘who I am’.  It is the gap in my Integrity -where what I Profess is not fully integrated into what I Do. This gap is the portrait of my Weakness, my Self-Delusion, my Unwillingness to Die, my Hidden Distrust of God’s Love.  It is a reflection of my compromised commitment to the Narrow Way.

          ‘Try your best to enter by the narrow door…’ these Words of Jesus are exhorting me to narrow my gap, for, ‘to live a holy life is to be holy just as he is holy.’ (1Jn 3:7).  But will my ‘best’ be good enough?  If I, in this life, will never live up to what I Profess -to be a faithful follower of Christ- then, what cause do I have to Hope?  Do I have even kindle for Fire?

         I have a vivid memory four decades old.  Shame has not allowed it to fade.  I just gave my life to Christ and had a brand new Cross hanging from my neck.  I stopped by a friend, with whom I had done drugs in the past, to witness to him.  I began that night telling him about my new life in Jesus and I left that night stoned.

This memory, though shameful, is a sure cause to Hope.  I was unfaithful but Jesus remained faithful.  I abandoned him, but he did not abandon me.  As I was struggling in my failure, he was rejoicing in my return.

‘…many will try to enter and will not succeed.’  Yes, this is a hard Word.  Yes, Jesus, the Inviolable Truth, defines what is acceptable to the Kingdom of God; and he is the Only Door; but… he is the Narrow Way which opens wide to the Prodigal’s Father -whose Mercy searches the horizon of sin for a Repentant Soul.

         This event of trying to enter by the narrow door is not the moment at the end of my life when I am judged (then, it would be too late); it is every moment of my life since saying “yes” to Jesus’ invitation.  It is the lifelong struggle of submitting to the Saving Hand of God.  And from this perspective, not only will many not succeed, but all will fail!  For, we all have fallen short in sin.  

         The Many, who will not succeed, are not those who fail, but those who quit; who leave the path; who say, “Yes Father, I will do your work” but then, go their own way.  They are the ones who relinquish the Struggle, who resign themselves to the Lukewarm.

         John’s perspective of ‘Jesus-The-Gate’ is from a different window than Matthew and Luke:  Jesus says, ‘I am the gate.  Anyone who enters through me will be safe: he will go freely in and out and be sure of finding pasture.’ (Jn 10:9).  Jesus is still the Way and the Truth, but here, rather than focusing on Truth’s Judgment, John emphasizes Truth’s Salvation: If we, the Needy Sheep, walk in the Freedom of Truth we will surely find Life.

         Truth; Judgment; Salvation; Repentance; Obedience and Mercy –These are the footstones of the Narrow Way to Life and many will not find their footprints upon them.  This is the truth that brings God to tears.  …But for the Grace of God.  …But for the Grace of God.

         Jesus has brought me a long way since my shameful first attempt to evangelize.  I have failed many more times at the Narrow Way.  And each time my Good Shepherd rescues me -at the price of his Blood- always carrying me, held to his breast, back to the Fold.  My struggle is as hard as it has ever been, but the gap between what I Profess and who I Am has narrowed –and this is great cause for Hope; kindling for his Fire.