What About Me?

What About Me?

“…there will be fearful sights and great signs from heaven.  But before all this happens, men will seize you and persecute you; they will hand you over to the synagogues and to imprisonment, and bring you before kings and governors because of my name - and that will be your opportunity to bear witness.” (LK 21:11-3)

         Calvary is only days away.  Jesus already told his disciples he is about to die.  Now, instead of giving them a pep talk, he tells them about the fearful and terrible things to come, and how they will suffer for knowing him.   Not only that, but they are to see this as an opportunity to bear witness!  How could they have received his Word?

         There is a radio commercial that so irritates me I find myself turning the channel until it’s over.  This guy keeps repeating, that at his business, “It’s all about you.”  Who actually believes that?!  But the deeper question is how many of us want to believe that.  And the sobering answer is we all do.  

         Deep in our soul, at the core of our untamed flesh, lives the delusion that we are the center of the universe, and it will remain there -resisting Truth till we draw our last breath.  It is why foolish commercials work, why sin can rise from its ashes to humiliate our love for God, why we need a Savior.

         As a young child in religion class, I was challenged with the most fundamental question of life –Why did God make us?  It was well within the childish capacity of my mind to learn the simple answer –God made us to know, love and serve him.  Yet a half century later, my soul is still learning to unwrap this Defining Truth.

         To the soul deceived by the Father of Lies, this Other-Centered belief is foolish if not reviling.  To the soul penetrated by the Light of the Father of Love, this belief is the beginning and end of Life –that we exist to know, love and serve God is glorious privilege.

         It is only in possessing this Life Defining Truth that we can receive these Words of Jesus with joy –that we can embrace the suffering of knowing him and, in so doing, give witness to the God who gives us Life.  In being freed from the selfishness of our inner child, we are freed from the need to serve our Insatiable Self –we are freed to serve the God who created us.  In all ways, serving God is loving and Love is the Preeminent Witness -for God is Love.

         As a toddler wanders into the path of a car, the mother does not stop to consider ‘What about me?’ before scooping up her child.  Love does not count the cost to Self –‘What about me?’ is absent from the vocabulary of Love.  To lay down one’s life is to give Witness to our Savior’s Death.  Life is not at all “all about us” -it is all about his Sacrificial Love for us.

         Father, you gave your Son into suffering and death -that I might live.  Jesus, you did not count the cost to free me from Sin.  Holy Spirit, possess me -that I may give Witness to your Sacrificial Love.

Remain In Me

Remain In Me (John 15:1-8)

“Make your home in me, as I make mine in you.  As a branch cannot bear fruit all by itself, but must remain part of the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me.”  

To remain in Christ is to live in his Word, to put on the Mind of Christ, to Believe in him, to be Obedient to his Will.  To remain in him is to make our home in him, to abide in the Life of Christ, to abandon our soul into the Trinitarian Embrace –to be grafted, through the Faith of Baptism, to the Vine of Life.

         Thus does the Branch receive freely from the Vine to have its needs met.  The Vine knows what the Branch needs and provides for it -as blood gives life to the body, so does the Branch of Christ, gives his Holy Spirit to his Branches.  

To be in union with Christ, is then, the key to faith’s doorway: “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask what you will and you shall get it.”  For Jesus himself, the Eternal Intercessor, standing before the Father, gives Voice to our needs (Hebrews  7:25)  –because the Vine is in Love -in Union with- the Branch.

         As we remain in him, we receive the Substance and the Sustenance of Life.   The Substance, the Body and Blood of Christ, co-mingles us with God.  The Sustenance -the Holy Spirit- is the Infilling of the Father’s Love, the Breath which brings us to Life.

In making our home in Jesus, we witness his bringing forth Life from Death.  It means we eagerly submit our sins to the Father’s pruning shears, because our Faith and Hope guarantee we shall bear much fruit –that we shall bring much glory to our Father as Faithful Stewards of his Love.  It means that the cost of Loving others, as Christ Loves us, is infinitely miniscule compared to the reward of Knowing God –of Abiding in his Love.

Jesus, in abandoning my heart into your Mercy, I become possessed by you.  In consuming the Bread of Life, the God of Life consumes my Darkness, exchanging my heart of stone for your Heart of Love.  In drinking your Cup, I surrender to your Will –your Precious Spirit becomes the Blood of my blood, my Source of Life and Love.  

          Jesus, I remain in you only because you remain in me.  All praise is due to you, All Faithful Lord.  You bore the Cross that this lowly branch may be grafted to The Divine.  What Grace, what Gift –to bear your Name, to know your Love, to make Home in my God.

Falling Into Love

Falling Into Love

The apostles said to the Lord, 'Increase our faith'.  The Lord replied, 'Were your faith the size of a mustard seed you could say to this mulberry tree, "Be uprooted and planted in the sea", and it would obey you. (Luke 17:5-6)

         A baby begins moving out into the world, first, by learning to reach out with its hands.  It extends this limited reach when it discovers how to roll over toward what it wants.  Then it learns to wiggle about, like a worm, inching its way forward.  Its ‘invade-able world’ greatly expands when it masters crawling on all fours.  Upon learning to stand on its two legs, it soon masters the side step –sliding one foot, then the other, all while holding on to available furniture and walls.

         Up to this point, the baby is always stable, able to freeze its motion at any instant, and not fall.  But then something transformative happens, it takes its first step -it learns how to fall forward and catch itself with one foot.  This of course is the preamble to the great amble –walking, whereupon taking a step forward, the baby uses its momentum to fall forward again, then catch itself again, and then again, and again –now loosed from the bonds of furniture and walls, from the tedious pace of crawling, it can explore and conquer vast reaches of space in a short amount of time.

         What is fascinating about the act of walking is that we use the ever present force of gravity to propel ourselves forward.  With each step, we willfully allow ourselves to fall into gravity’s grip –as we allow our body to fall, we catch ourselves with our foot, and gravity’s downward  pull is transferred into forward momentum, where we fall again and catch ourselves with the other foot.  The complexity of the physics involved makes learning to walk difficult and replete with accidents.

         So what does all this have to do with the Apostles asking Jesus to increase their faith?  They must have been befuddled by his response.  They were wanting to be like him –to do the things he did.  They witnessed his miracles.  They observed how he connected this power with faith.  They knew that faith had something to do with believing.  They believed in him yet they could not do the things he did.  Jesus said if the size of their faith were minuscule, a tree would obey their command and cast itself into the sea.  

         Surely, they must have been disheartened.  After hearing this, they must have thought they had no faith at all.  Maybe, if instead of asking for their faith to be increased, they had asked Jesus, ‘Do we possess the power of faith, even a little?’ he may have said, ‘No, not at all.’  For maybe, learning to walk in faith is like learning to walk in gravity.  Maybe, we do not possess faith but rather faith possesses us.  Maybe, when walking in faith, we fall into its power and are propelled forward toward great acts of love.

         If this is the Kingdom’s framework for faith, then indeed, the size of our faith is not the issue, because it is not our mortal power, but God’s Almighty Power that propels us to unthinkable acts of Love.  Maybe in surrendering into Faith we are falling into the Power of Love.  This is a difficult thing for a soul to learn, and it is fraught with mistakes and disappointments, but the Kingdom of God is waiting to be conquered.

Lord, grant me the courage, the Faith, to fall into your Love, to abandon myself into a Love I am incapable of giving -knowing that the Power of your Holy Spirit is waiting to catch me, to propel my feeble acts of faith into a life befitting my God.  Jesus, I am weak but you are strong.  I Believe in your Promise to empower me: to equip me; to walk in Faith; to be your Ambassador of Love.

          Jesus, you commissioned me (John 15:16) to bear the fruit of your Love.  I did not choose you, you first chose me.  This is your plan Lord, not of my making.  I cannot imagine the Good that you Will to accomplish, but I can be obedient to your Word.  So here I am Lord, just like your Apostles, asking you for something beyond my understanding.  In the words of our Mother, whom you have shared with me, ‘…may it be done unto me according to your Will.’  Again, and again, and again may I fall into your Love –until you find me home.

See And Believe

“You can see and still you do not believe.” (Jn 6:36) …“Whoever sees the son and believes in him shall have the eternal life.” (Jn 6:40)   In this sixth chapter of the Gospel of John the Bread of Life is revealed, and these two verses challenge us to a Eucharistic Faith.

Jesus Christ, the ‘Un-Knowable I-Am’, has become the Word-Made-Flesh.  The Bread-Sent-From-Heaven has made himself known to us.  Because of sin, we have eyes but do not see; ears but do not hear; thirst but do not drink; and hunger but do not eat.  

To See and Believe, this is Christ’s call.  To “See” Jesus is to hear his Word; to encounter his Love; to taste the Bread of Life.  To “Believe” in Jesus is to choose to follow Him –to live in his Truth.

Jesus made himself known to Israel through many acts of love: signs and wonders; the gift of his Flesh and Blood; and his Crucifixion.  Yet most did not See or Believe.  He continues still to make himself known -to all who have eyes to See and ears to Hear; who Hunger for the Bread of Life and Thirst for the Living Water; who are willing to Drink of the Cup of His Blood.

Before we can choose Jesus, before we can exercise Faith, we must first encounter him as Truth.  As it is God’s Will that all Man be saved –that all come to Know and Love him (Jn6:39)- we have to assume that he must Reveal himself to every soul, for he is as Just as he is Loving.  However, it would be a sin of presumption to assume that this revelation will happen outside of our participation.

Free-will cannot exist without personal responsibility –we must have a Choice, and we must have the freedom to Accept or Reject it.  Neither can Faith exist without Works, nor Love without Deeds.  And so it is that Truth is only found with Hunger and Thirst.  It is for us to Ask, Seek and Knock (Mt 7:7), for “The nearer you go to God, the nearer he will come to you.” (James 4:8).  We cannot expect to See God if we are not looking for him.  But if we do so with all our heart, he promises to show himself to us (Deut 4:29).

That the Un-Knowable God will make himself Known is Truth.  It is the Word of God, witnessed and testified to throughout the ages.  He is ever waiting for us to See and Believe –through Prayer, through his Word, and in the Eucharist- waiting to be encountered, waiting to be loved.   

God is waiting, but it is an active waiting.  As Father of all Prodigal Sons, he is not just waiting for us to discover our true Sonship, but he is eternally sending forth his Spirit to woo us -as he unleashes the Hound of Heaven, to plant in our heart, pangs of hunger for Home; as he sends the Good Shepherd to seek out his Lost Love.

If we but call out to him, he will find us in our darkness.  In truth, he is already present -just waiting for us to recognize our need for him.  For it is only in our Need that we recognize his Face.  It is only in our Hunger and Thirst that we have cause to Believe in who can assuage.  In a cosmic act of Mercy, God has allowed himself to suffer need –to have to wait for us to choose his Burning Love.  

Most of us, before giving ourselves over to a life of Faith, must first discover our miserable-ness, our desperate need, our depravity of Love.  It is this Humble Knowing which loosens the scales of sin from our eyes and allows us to “See” our Lord.  In standing exposed before him, seeing that our Nakedness does not cause his Love to flinch, we are freed to love him whose Love has found us -we see and believe.  

          When we see Jesus as Love, then we believe in the Source Of All Love, and this Knowing Encounter impels us to Praise our God of Love.  Such is our Eucharistic Faith.  Eucharist means Thanksgiving or Gratitude.  So it is that in receiving the Love of Jesus, we find the Bread of Life –we consume him in order to be consumed by him; we embrace him to become Lost in his Mercy, where we find the courage to die for Eternal Life.

How Much Is Enough?

How Much Is Enough?

“Try your best to enter by the narrow door, because, I tell you, many will try to enter and will not succeed.” (Luke 13:24)   

         Luke makes no effort to soften these Words of Jesus.  Matthew’s version of the narrow gate (Mt 7:13) is no different.  They are not meant to provide comfort, but to light a Fire.  Other translations of Luke say ‘Make every effort’ or ‘Strive’ to enter.  In each case, the root meaning evokes struggle –a struggle in which many will not succeed.  

         What Jesus says, and who Jesus is, is one and the same.  He said, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.”  He said what he lived.  If I am to be obedient to what he Says, then my life must be congruent with his Life.  And if this is the standard, against which I will fail or succeed, then what cause do I have to Hope?  Do I have even kindle for Fire?  

         The things I Profess with all my heart are the very things which expose the gap between ‘what I say’ and ‘who I am’.  It is the gap in my Integrity -where what I Profess is not fully integrated into what I Do. This gap is the portrait of my Weakness, my Self-Delusion, my Unwillingness to Die, my Hidden Distrust of God’s Love.  It is a reflection of my compromised commitment to the Narrow Way.

          ‘Try your best to enter by the narrow door…’ these Words of Jesus are exhorting me to narrow my gap, for, ‘to live a holy life is to be holy just as he is holy.’ (1Jn 3:7).  But will my ‘best’ be good enough?  If I, in this life, will never live up to what I Profess -to be a faithful follower of Christ- then, what cause do I have to Hope?  Do I have even kindle for Fire?

         I have a vivid memory four decades old.  Shame has not allowed it to fade.  I just gave my life to Christ and had a brand new Cross hanging from my neck.  I stopped by a friend, with whom I had done drugs in the past, to witness to him.  I began that night telling him about my new life in Jesus and I left that night stoned.

This memory, though shameful, is a sure cause to Hope.  I was unfaithful but Jesus remained faithful.  I abandoned him, but he did not abandon me.  As I was struggling in my failure, he was rejoicing in my return.

‘…many will try to enter and will not succeed.’  Yes, this is a hard Word.  Yes, Jesus, the Inviolable Truth, defines what is acceptable to the Kingdom of God; and he is the Only Door; but… he is the Narrow Way which opens wide to the Prodigal’s Father -whose Mercy searches the horizon of sin for a Repentant Soul.

         This event of trying to enter by the narrow door is not the moment at the end of my life when I am judged (then, it would be too late); it is every moment of my life since saying “yes” to Jesus’ invitation.  It is the lifelong struggle of submitting to the Saving Hand of God.  And from this perspective, not only will many not succeed, but all will fail!  For, we all have fallen short in sin.  

         The Many, who will not succeed, are not those who fail, but those who quit; who leave the path; who say, “Yes Father, I will do your work” but then, go their own way.  They are the ones who relinquish the Struggle, who resign themselves to the Lukewarm.

         John’s perspective of ‘Jesus-The-Gate’ is from a different window than Matthew and Luke:  Jesus says, ‘I am the gate.  Anyone who enters through me will be safe: he will go freely in and out and be sure of finding pasture.’ (Jn 10:9).  Jesus is still the Way and the Truth, but here, rather than focusing on Truth’s Judgment, John emphasizes Truth’s Salvation: If we, the Needy Sheep, walk in the Freedom of Truth we will surely find Life.

         Truth; Judgment; Salvation; Repentance; Obedience and Mercy –These are the footstones of the Narrow Way to Life and many will not find their footprints upon them.  This is the truth that brings God to tears.  …But for the Grace of God.  …But for the Grace of God.

         Jesus has brought me a long way since my shameful first attempt to evangelize.  I have failed many more times at the Narrow Way.  And each time my Good Shepherd rescues me -at the price of his Blood- always carrying me, held to his breast, back to the Fold.  My struggle is as hard as it has ever been, but the gap between what I Profess and who I Am has narrowed –and this is great cause for Hope; kindling for his Fire.

Will He Find Any Faith?

Will He Find Any Faith?

“But when the Son of Man comes, will he find any faith on earth?” (Luke 18:1-8)    

Luke prefaces the parable of the Importunate Widow with the call to pray continuously without losing heart, then, tells how the widow, after unrelentingly pestering the unscrupulous judge, receives a just settlement.  Lastly, he unleashes this fateful question of Jesus.  

This Gospel snapshot, on first read, seems disjointed.  It begins as if it’s a primer on prayer, yet, the widow is not portrayed as prayerful or pious, but as demanding justice against her enemy; the judge has no similarities to God; and it concludes with Jesus’ startling question about his Second Coming.

The beauty, of a portrait painted in broad strokes, is hidden close up.  One must back away from it to capture its fullness.  So too, the Truth of these eight verses lies hidden until we back away from its literal setting.  Like a good painting, this parable makes its statement through contrast.  If a feisty widow, with nagging, can secure just settlement from a secular judge who hands out justice based on personal profit, how much more can a person of faith, with unrelenting prayer, find Recompense from a merciful God?  

On the surface, Jesus is telling us if we persevere in prayer, especially when it seems like God is not listening, we will surely be rewarded.  But, that he seals this parable with the Daunting Question, ‘will he find any faith on earth?’, speaks of something deeper than the shallow motivation of getting what we want if we persist in asking –he is summoning us to a life of Faith; to live as if God’s Promise is true, and to do so, not only in the absence of evidence, but even when evidence is to the contrary.

This kind of intractable Faith, is what gave Abraham the strength to offer his only begotten son.  It goes against our feelings, desires, and logic.  It offers no proof, but demands unconditional commitment.  As such, it is as uncommon as the ‘hard road that leads to life, and only a few find it’ (Mt 7:14).  Jesus forewarns us, that when he comes again, he will be looking for Faith, and he wonders aloud, if he will find any.  

He frames this intractable Faith as rare among men because it is not of man.  It cannot be conjured up like a fanciful wish, nor called forth as a feat of strength.  It cannot be earned.  It is won only by surrendering -to an Unseen Power, and at that, it is usually discovered after exhausting all other options.  If it is ever secured, it is only after having lost it many times.  It is never neat and tidy, but tattered and bloody.  Once known it cannot be unknown, yet it is easily forgotten in times of comfort.  

 Faith is an ephemeral mystery because it is a Gift not of our world –it is the Stuff of God.  We must believe it before we can know it -as courage cannot exist outside of fear, Faith cannot exist outside of uncertainty.  It exists in the absence of what we desire; in our desperation for consolation; in the strength of our weakness; in the impossible hoped possible.  

We can no more grasp Faith with our mind than we can hold onto Jello with our fingers, yet Faith is our only link to God –our only lifeline to transcend suffering and death.  As such, Faith is the Supreme Gift.  It is given for all to freely receive, yet the Many have rejected it.  Now, all gifts are given on the terms of the Giver, so isn’t it curious then, that Man would spurn the God-Given because it is not on his terms?  Oh, the Curse of Pride!  It is Pride then, which gives Christ the pause to wonder if he will find any Faith on earth.

          Lord, the Importunate Widow’s tragedy was her blessing –her poverty robbed her of the luxury of Pride -she was free to beg for mercy.  Oh Holy Spirit of my Lord Jesus, rob me of my Pride.  May my poverty of spirit free me to relentlessly beg your Mercy.  Good Father, I shall ever praise you for sending your Son to make straight the Way.

Today

Today

By your Grace, Lord,

Long Ago has become my Friend

…singing softly of your Power to Save.

And by your same Faithful Grace,

the Darkness of what is Yet To Be,

is a Provocation to Hope

…Reaching back into Now.

For the Past, now conquered

and testifying to your Truth,

is forever consigned

to point to a Future

filled with your Unchanging Mercy.

What was, and what is to be,

is cause to Praise,

to fall deeper in Love.

Lord, I can only love you this Moment Now,

in this your Gift of Today.

Here, you are my Refuge,

my Abode of Truth,

where your Mighty Right Hand sustains me,

where you are the Rock shoring up my feet;

where you cloak me in the Comfort of your Word.

Today, this Sacred Moment Now,

is enough to Be in You.

Happy Tails

Happy Tails

Recently, neurologists discovered that smiling is not merely a result of a happy feeling.  They found that the act of smiling, even when forced, activates an area in our brain which produces a sense of well being; and, that same mood enhancing effect is produced in another’s brain when they view our smile.  Reading this discovery triggered a memory of a silly fantasy I had entertained.

Let me digress.  Our kitchen has a set of French doors to an open back porch.  Every morning as I grope my way to the coffee pot, I am met by our dog, Staush, who lies waiting outside those doors.  As he hears my approaching footsteps, even before he lifts his head, his tail begins to wag.  It never ceases to give me joy.  He remains there as I have my prayer time at the nearby table.  

It was there I happened upon the fantasy (my mind often wanders during prayer.)  It began as I was thanking God for how Lovingly Made is his gift of dog to man –how dogs bring such joy.  If my chair stirs, or I turn my head toward the door, Staush’s tail will start to wag.  It has very long, dense fluffy hair, so it is like a flag waving, saying, “I am happy that you are here with me!”  The joy that his wagging tail evoked within me, caused me to fantasize how wonderful it would be if humans had tails which evoked joy into each other.

God created man out of Love and for Love, so when we are loved, we experience the affirmation of our deepest need, and this, we experienced as Joy.  God is Triune Love -where the identity of the Three Persons dissolve into One, each belonging to the Other.  God created man in His Image.  Such then, explains our need to belong.

So maybe, in creating Man’s Best Friend, God created dog in man’s image.  In giving the dog a driving need to belong to a pack, the dog, like Man, can only be joyful in belonging to another.  

 Now I realize, my secret disappointment in God’s tailless design for us, is for naught.  He did not give us tails because he gave us something much better.  He gave us a Smile.  

A smile is better, not just because a tail would make it harder to wear cloths; it is way better because we can wear a smile when we are happy and when we are not.  Staush doesn’t know his tail is wagging, he just knows he is delighted in my presence, and his tail shouts it so.  A smile can sneak onto our face when we are happy.  But we can also make a smile to make another person happy.

The gift of our smile is as powerful as it is delightful.  With the slightest effort of a smile, we can interject Joy into the life of another –actually bypassing their choice in the matter.  And to possess such a profound power calls us to a profound responsibility.  Does not the Heavens demand, that in possessing such a Precious Gift, which has no cost, that we must give it away –especially to those most in need?

          Two centuries past, Abe Lincoln said, “Smile and you will be happy.”  He understood what neural researchers, only today, have discovered.  Two millennia past, Jesus said, “Smile and make people happy.” (Well, ok, he’s not actually recorded as saying that –I just deduced those words from his Word that was recorded.)  How different we would be, and the world around us, if with every person we meet, we would smile with our ‘Happy Tail’ –we would say, “I am happy that you are here with me!”

Do Not Be Afraid!

Do Not Be Afraid!

My Beloved Child,

You Belong to Me.

The God, who cherishes You,

Holds All Things in existence.

How then, can you be Afraid?

A Leaf cannot Fall,

Nor a Bolt of Lightning let fly

-unless I Permit it.

All who Call upon my Name I Save.

How then, can you be Afraid?

I Am the Lord, your God.

I Know how Tomorrow unfolds.  

I Know the plan of Hope I have for you.  

My promises Belong to You.  

How then, can you be Afraid?

   

My Beloved Child,

You Bear my Name,

Carry my Father’s Love,

and Possess my Holy Spirit.  

Go Forth then,

-in Faith and Joy.

Share what you Know to be True.  

Tell my People,

                                         “Do Not be Afraid!”