Here I Am Lord
There are many rooms within me, but one room, is more fruitful than all the rest as a place of prayer. ‘My Brokenness’ is carved into the wood of its door. The lock has long been disabled, and its brass knob is rubbed bright on one side. This door opens not into a four sided room, but into a long, narrow, vaulted, corridor.
There are no windows or lamps. The two walls and arched vault are a mural of my life, dimly lit with a light, as from an emerging consciousness, as from the presence of Another. At the farthest point of the corridor, where the Present Light ceases and the darkness of the Future begins, are two empty chairs, facing the Receding Light of my Past.
The walls and ceiling display images from my life …all, calling out to God. Their titles are as titles to the soundtrack ‘Songs of A Broken Heart’: Sinful I Stand; Alone With Guilt; Too Proud to Die; Conflicted by Truth; Awakened by Weakness; Contrite Tears; Heal Me Lord; Dreams Not Dreamt; Lost in Hope; Desperate for God. …All, crying out, “Here I am Lord, so small to do your Will.”
And there in the Present Light, next to the one chair with coffee stains and breakfast crumbs, hangs a plaque, made from the wood of a Cross, inked with Blood from a Lamb, echoing an Ancient Word…'If Yahweh set his heart on you and chose you, it was not because you out-numbered other peoples: you were the least of all peoples. It was for love of you and to keep the oath he swore to your fathers that Yahweh brought you out with his mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know then that Yahweh your God is God indeed, the faithful God who is true to his covenant and his graciousness for a thousand generations towards those who love him and keep his commandments’. (Deuteronomy 7:7-9)